She is beautiful, yet you will hardly notice a smile on her face. She will always be hanging out with friends, seeking out temporary relationships or shopping. She had a very unique sense of behavior because of which many looked down on her, and the others would take advantage of her , abuse or ignore her. I happened to notice her standing alone once (very unusual), greeted her and was just about to leave when she broke out into tears. Took her to the cafeteria and spoke to her for some time and realized the reason why she was so uniquely different than the others. Divorced, immoral, unloving and manipulative parents! How can we blame a child for something that has been passed on from generations?
Like it or not, we are what we are as a result of our physical as well as spiritual parents. That is the reason it is so important a decision to be careful of who parents you, and whom & how you parent those who are under you. Consciously or unconsciously we will become like the person whom we have been closely following or walking with. My friend, never wanted to end up like this in her life. But the same things that she hated in her parents behavior and attitude had become hers too, at the end of the day. I had been praying about this for some time, lemme share what’s in my heart.
Paul wrote in his personal letter to Timothy “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” (2 Tim 1:5) Do you know that your faith and passion for God can be transferred into the person whom you mentor or physically/spiritually parent? As a matter of fact parenting or discipling people is what our calling is! Jesus said Go ye therefore and make disciples of all nations! (Matt 28:19) Preaching the gospel, planting churches, prophesying over them, teaching the word is secondary. But our primary calling is to make disciples. Making disciples is nothing but telling people to imitate us as we imitate Christ. (1 Cor 11:1) Jesus commanded his disciples “freely you have received, freely you should give” I pray that God will show you people around you, whom you need to mentor and freely disciple. Pray and seek God about the same.
If your faith can be passed on to the people you parent, don’t you think your weaknesses can also be transferred to the person you parent? Exactly, what happened in my friend’s case. Her parents would have never wanted her to end up like them. But the unconscious self imitates the ones who lead you, even their weaknesses. Samuel was one of the most revered prophets in Israel. His weakness was his children who had gone astray. Now, who had mentored Samuel? Eli the priest, and what was his weakness? His children!! Do you see how you can leave a legacy with your faith or even with your weakness? What’s the solution? Be frank about your weakness in your relationship with the your disciple. When you are transparent before people and thus flood those dark areas of your life with light, it will not only help people around you, but also be a cause of healing for yourself.
The best biblical example of mentoring is the relationship between Jesus and his disciples. Jesus was not always sitting and talking stuff to them, he took them around everywhere he went. He let them witness the weakest moment of his life in the garden of Gethsemane at the same time the most glorified state on the mount of transfiguration. At times, Jesus will speak things to the multitudes and his actual target will be his disciples. Jesus did not just teach them, he earnestly prayed to his Father for them. John 17 is the example of that great high priestly prayer, where Jesus prayed for his disciples. Jesus mentored the disciples with a goal and a plan to reach that goal in his mind. He not only prayed for them, but set an example before them. (John 13:15). He not only set an example but commissioned them with the same authority and calling that was upon him. (John 20:21)
Leaving a Legacy:
Do you know what was the difference between Elijah and Elisha? When Elijah left he left his mantle for someone else to carry, but when Elisha died, his mantle went with him into the grave! As a result a dead man was raised to life when he was thrown into the grave of Elisha. (2 Kings 13:21) Elisha had many disciples too, but he didn’t commission any of them to succeed him. Only eternity will reveal how many Kings and lives in Israel could have been saved had someone been anointed and commissioned with the double portion anointing of what Elisha carried! Church History is filled with graves of people who did not care enough to leave their mantle behind for someone else to take it up and lead!
My prayer for you is whatever God has entrusted you with, should not go into the grave along with you, that you would raise up a generation who will succeed in double portion of your strength, and not your weaknesses! At the same time, if you are looking for someone to mentor you, don’t look for a perfect person, because there aren’t any! Look for the genuine, authentic and the transparent ones. Bless you!