Dating Relationship Q&As with Pastor Priji
This week Pastor Priji continues with the Preparation for Marriage series by answering dating related questions put forth by viewers.
This is a repost, originally published on October 14, 2017.
Question:My girlfriend doesn’t seem to like me anymore. I am not able to move on. What do I do?
Answer:It takes time to get over the emotional weight present after a break up.
One has to learn to lean on God- not people because when you are in a relationship, you tend to lean on that one person.
If the person decides to leave, you pull back. If you are confident that that person is in the will of God, you can wait still, but not for ever.
Then you must re-shift your focus. It is unhealthy to have anyone to have such an emotional hold in your life to shift your attention from God.
There is no one who should be more precious than Jesus. Focus on spending time with God.
Question:I am being forced by my parents to marry an unbeliever. How do I respond?
Answer:This is a serious and sensitive problem. There may exist unequally yoked marriages that have worked out, but personally all such marriages I have encountered have been total disasters.
God’s will for the Christian is to marry a believer. In the scripture, God has clearly mentioned that one mustn’t marry an unbeliever. Doing so would be an act of direct disobedience.
You must take a stand for God. If parents say things contrary to the will of God for your life, you have all the right to disobey them. Your first allegiance is to God.
It is better to remain single for the rest of your life than to marry an unbeliever.
Don’t ever confuse evangelism with marriage.
Question:How do I know for sure that I’m dating the right person?
Answer:We do not full know a person until married to them. The hidden person is revealed only afterwards. While dating it is not possible to be absolutely sure that someone is the will of God in your life.
However your trust shouldn’t lie on the person you meet, but on God who brought them to you. The closer your walk is with God, the surer you are about the person He has led you to be with.
In any relationship, the closer you are with each other, the more you know their desires. Your relationship with God is like so. If you are walking with God, you will surely know who you should marry. It the simplest and the only way you’ll know God’s will for your life.
Do not depend on emotions.
Question:My boyfriend and I have major differences that cause fights constantly. Should we break off or try to work on the relationship?
Answer:Linking this question to the preceding one, if you are sure it is the right person, work it out. Seek a pastor or counselor and try to mend it.
If it still does not work and if the fights are majorly on principles that cannot be compromised on, it is better to not marry.
God will heal, help, and take care of both of you.
Question:How do you get healed of past relationships?
Answer:If you are out of a relationship, do not get into one immediately. Wait till you are healed or else, you’d carry with you the baggage of the past relationship into the new one.
Seek Godly counsel from and pour out your heart to someone trustworthy.
Question:Is it wrong to kiss, hug or hold hands when dating?
Answer:Intimacy is becoming transparent before each other. The Bible says one must leave their father and mother and cleave to each other and they will be one flesh. Becoming one flesh is the final stage of intimacy.
Physical intimacy is absolutely reserved for marriage alone.
Hugging or kissing in itself may not be seen as wrong, but the context should be taken into account.
If the act has the capacity to draw your body to sin, you must avoid it.
If you feel ashamed to act the same way before people you are accountable to and seek private times for it, you are probably giving in to temptation.
Anything that flames your passion- even in thought- leading to the wrong direction is sinful and should be avoided.
Wait for the right time.
Do only that which would glorify and honour God.
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